Today I Choose - To Be Happy

The last week has seemed like an especially hard week on me emotionally. Not because of anything going on in my own life but because of all the suffering happening in the world - the tsunami, orphans losing families that for some reason or another are not able to go and get them, families being told by judges that the children they want to adopt would be better off kept in institutions, and families desperately trying to raise the funds they need to adopt the children they are trying to rescue.

I love being connected to the world through the internet but at the same time you can easily read about some horrible tragedy happening almost every hour.

So today I have decided to take a break from my normal Finding Forever Families Friday and focus on my blessings and being happy. Because, although I believe that God wants us to be aware of those who are less fortunate and suffering in the world, I do not believe that He wants us to live in misery.

My crying or feeling hopeless does nothing to relieve the suffering of these people. I cannot take their suffering away. I can pray that God will comfort them in their trials and that they will find relief and I can ask how I can help but my being miserable does nothing to fix anything for them.

Two years ago I was going through my own trials and misery and I would have never wanted anyone to suffer for me in hopes that I would suffer less. My Savior is the only one who can take on that job.

Today I choose - to be happy.  And here is a face that should be the poster child for happiness. I have never met a happier child.

Nevaeh can walk into a room and change the mood of the grumpiest person. She has a little personality that can light up the room and make just about anyone smile.

One of Nevaeh's favorite questions to ask me daily is "Mama, you happy?" I usually pick my head up from the computer and grumble a "yep" without really meaning it. To which she replies " I'm happy, too"

But why shouldn't I be happy. I have been blessed with so much.

So to help me get my fill of happiness today, I walked away from the computer and took these precious videos of my happy, happy children.

Next Friday I will post again about the children who desperately need to find families. But I will do it with a happy heart knowing that I am doing all that is within my power to help. I will no longer do it with a doom and gloom approach because I know that God still wants me to be happy even if there are orphans in the world and people who are suffering.

I can post information about them, pray for the families who are trying to raise money and send the money that I can to help. But I no longer want to feel guilty that I can't send money every month to all of them that I have found blogs for. And I don't want to feel guilty that I can't bring all of them home. I can only do what is within my power to do and leave the rest up to God.

Because I suffered and fought long and hard to be the mother of this beautiful little girl that is so happy and full of life and when she asks me "Mama, you happy?" I want to smile and laugh and hug her and say "Yes, sweetheart. I'm very happy because I am blessed to have you in my life".

Some Happy Scriptures

Psalms 146:5

Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God:

John 13:13-17

13Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am.

 14If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet.

 15For I have given you an example that ye should do as I have done to you.

 16Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him.

 17If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.

Proverbs 14:21

21 He that despiseth his neighbour sinneth: but he that hath mercy on the poor, happy is he.

Proverbs 16:20

20 He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he.

Finding Forever Families Fridays - I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Today's Finding Forever Families Fridays

is a video I put together of many 

of the children that are listed on Reece's Rainbow.

These children are all children with special needs. 

Most of them either have Down Syndrome or HIV.

Some of them have other physical or mental ailments.

But all of them will end up in Institutions if not adopted. 

More information can be found at

www.reecesrainbow.org

Soon after we finalized Nevaeh's adoption

I went to the San Diego Fair with a friend to 

try and educate people about adoption.

While we were in the car

we heard this song by Michael Buble.

My friend commented that it reminded her of adoption.

I had only heard it a few times before

but had never thought of it that way.

As you watch the video below

think about if one of these children are yours

and you just haven't meet them yet!

I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet!

I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

And somehow I know that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

Our Perfect Disneyland Day

The first Wednesday of the month my sister, Tami and I take our girls to Disneyland. We love going on this day because we leave late enough in the afternoon and late enough at night that we don't hit any traffic. We also love that the crowds are less.

For Christmas, I got Nevaeh a Minnie Mouse costume with a matching costume for her doll. I had been waiting for her to grow into the shoes that went with it but yesterday's weather looked so perfect I just couldn't wait any longer. So I stuffed socks in the front of the shoes to make them stay on her feet.

I was a little sad to find that the doll's headband (Minnie Mouse ears) had been dropped and broke. I borrowed some super glue and thought I fixed it. After making these minor wardrobe repairs, we were on our way.

When we walked through the entrance of Disneyland there was a short line to see Minnie Mouse. Tami suggested that I take Nevaeh right over and get her picture taken with her. I had planned on going to see the Minnie Mouse in Toon Town but the line can be really long for that one. We hurried over and got in line, but right as we did, Minnie had to leave and starting walking away.

Because we are Disneyland experts, I knew where she was headed and started to follow really fast. I really just wanted to find out how long it would be until the next Minnie would come out. As we approached the gate for her to go behind she turned and saw Nevaeh and her doll. She leaned over and hugged Nevaeh and then picked the doll up and cradled it. Unfortunately, when she handed it pack the headband fell off and it broke again. And of course I didn't have my camera out to take any pictures.

This is what the doll is suppose to look like with her Minnie ears on.

The escort then hurried Minnie Mouse behind the gate. I asked one of the other workers how long it would be until she came back. They said 2 minutes. I then asked where we should go and wait since you never know where they are going to locate themselves on Main Street. They told me we could just stay there and that when Minnie Mouse came out she would walk us over to where she was going to be. 

I quickly got Nevaeh out of her stroller and started looking for my camera. Neaveh wanted to play with the umbrella that I throw out of the stroller while looking for the camera. When I took it away she throw a huge fit. My hopes and dreams of the perfect picture with Minnie Mouse were dashed.

So I started bribing her. I know - bad mom. But it worked and she gave the umbrella back. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to get her ears on her before Minnie Mouse came back out. Luckily for me, my son was there and grabbed the stroller so I could run ahead and get these great pictures.

The little girl in the Tinkerbell outfit running to catch-up is my niece. She was waiting in line to see Goofy when she noticed that Minnie Mouse came back. She did finally catch up and got to hold Minnie Mouse's hand. Poor Nevaeh tripped on the way up the stairs and isn't smiling very big here because I think she is still a little stunned. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that her shoes are 2 sizes too big.

Later on that day we did stand in line to see Minnie Mouse at her house. Neaveh does not really like to pose with the characters. She would rather hug and kiss on them and tell them that she loves them. So her happy faces are usually pushed into a character's chest where they can't be seen.

We had to stop on by and see Mickey too. I was sad that he wasn't in his normal outfit that would have matched better. But considering we go the first Wednesday of ever month, I'm sure we will have many more opportunities to take pictures with the mouse. Maybe I will even be able to get the dolls headband fixed.

All and all is was a great day at Disneyland. Nevaeh was stinky a few times when I wanted her to wear the ears or hold the doll. It seemed she only wanted to hold the doll if my niece wanted to hold her. Other than that she could have cared less. We have to work on her sharing skills.

I am so grateful to my oldest son, Josh, for coming with us. He was a little sad that the Tangle line was closed and he didn't get to do his smoldering look for Rapunzel and have his picture taken. He made the day so much easier for me and made it possible for me to keep track of all Nevaeh's accessories. Plus he made riding the train and the tram possible. I would not have been able to do it without him.

But The best part of the trip was when I woke up this morning to a sweet little girl who said,

 "Aw, I loveof you mommy. Thank you for taking me to Disneyland. It was perfect." 

Still in a Daze

I was not prepared last night for how I felt. I had seen A's (our 2nd foster daughter) grandma at Wal-mart numerous times since I left A with her over 3 years ago. But I have not seen A since that dreadful day.

So last night when I was at Wal-mart and heard a familiar voice scream "Get back here before I knock your head off" I was not prepared for the feelings that flooded over me when I looked up to see A running in front of her grandma. I only knew it was A because her grandma was following her. I probably would not have recognized her without her grandma there.

My heart skipped a beat as I look down into the eyes of this beautiful little girl that I last saw when she was 11 months old. But what broke my heart even more was when I said "Hi A" and she looked directly at me and said "How do you know me?" I just replied that I knew her when she was a baby and then she bounced away.

Her grandmother then told me that she doesn't know that she was taken away and lived with a foster family. I don't blame her. Would a 4 year old really understand that anyway? She only lived with us for a month. Yet I was surprised at how quickly she bonded with me.

At visits she would get down and go see her mom and grandma, but if she was hurt in the least little way she would come running back to me for comfort. She never had a problem leaving the visits either. I would say it was time to go and she would just tot on over and hold up her arms to me.

She looked happy last night. Her grandma said she finally kicked the mom out and does not allow her to see A anymore. That was a huge relief to me. Last time I saw the grandma she told me that the mom was watching her while grandma was at work. I didn't understand how the grandma could have custody because the mom was seen as unfit, yet the mom was allowed to babysit.

I walked around Wal-mart in a daze the rest of my shopping trip. My heart ached for this little one and the life that will be her's. Yet, I know that it was meant to be. If she had stayed even one month longer, we would not have gotten Nevaeh.

So all I can do is hope that she felt loved the month she was with us and that somehow that carries over to the rest of her life.

And then I remember how blessed I am to have this little one that I thought was going home after being with us for over 19 months.

This is her 18 month Easter picture that was taken right before she started overnight visits at the halfway house.

If you would like to see the video I made when I thought she was going home you can go here. It is dedicated to all who have loved a foster baby and had to let them go. It is a feeling that can never be explained if you have not lived it.

These children live forever in your hearts.