Time does soften the ache of some wounds but it can never fully ease them

Because I am still trying to move things over from the other blog, last night I was rereading some of the things I had written and all of a sudden realized it was Labor Day Weekend. I knew it was Labor Day Weekend but I had forgotten until reading older post that Labor Day Weekend had significant meaning in my life and really the whole reason why we ended up adopting Nevaeh.

It still amazes me to this day how Heavenly Father works and how sometimes you get to see why things happened that at the time seemed so painful and unnecessary. Seven years ago I really didn't understand why we felt like we were suppose to have another child only to lose that child 6 months into the pregnancy. I didn't understand why I had to have morning sickness for 5 months and then lose a baby.

Most failed pregnancies happen within the first trimester. I had had 3 healthy boys without ever having a miscarriage so it was hard to understand having to carry a baby so long only to lose him. So looking back now it amazes me that because of that lose and that hard pregnancy I decided I just couldn't go through it again. Yet I still felt as if Heavenly Father had little girls waiting to come be a part of our family. So that is how the thought of adoption was first planted in my mind.

We looked into adopting through Riverside County but that was a huge turn-off for us. The next thing I knew we were moving and it didn't really make since because we ended up moving further from Steve's job instead of closer.

Looking back now it is all so clear. The only reason we were allowed to be a part of Angels Foster Care was because we moved. They only worked out in this area for 1 year and then decided to pull out because they weren't getting any calls from Riverside County. So we had a very narrow margin of time to be with them. We told them the furthest we would drive was to Fallbrook and that is were Nevaeh came from but then her birth parents moved to Escondido for rehab the week after she was placed with us. The two foster children that came and went quickly from our lives were here to keep us from accepting other placements while Nevaeh was being born. The time that it took for her parent's rights to be terminated was so I could grow to have compassion for her birth parents and so they could feel comfortable with our family and letting her go.

Although my heart sometimes aches for the little guy I lost, I now know that God had a much bigger plan for our family and am so grateful that He always gives us what we need even if we don't think it is what we want at the time.